or “A Mission Statement for My Blog”
“To everything there is a season,
a time for every purpose under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to get, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace”
Introduction
When I began blogging in October, my initial plan was to focus solely on genealogy. However, I soon realized my love for writing extended beyond one subject. Rather than restricting myself, I chose to expand the scope of my blog. While I will continue to honor the past, I will also explore the present and future. As I reflect on bygone days, savor the present, and look towards the future through writing, it is my hope that I will be able to capture the diverse facets of my journey through time.
Honoring the Past
The life cycle is perpetual motion, and the body, soul, and mind are in a constant state of flux—subject to the whims of the natural world. One generation of Man passes from the Earth, making room for the birth of a new generation. Our story unfolds in the spaces between these moments, embracing the rhythm of this continuous journey.
For most of us, our legacy is wiped from the Earth within a generation or two. After enough time has passed, we will become unknown to subsequent generations, and yet we will still be connected. Their stories can not be written without us having written our own.
We live now because others lived then. We live now and so future generations will come to be. We are each a patchwork comprised of these forebears, and yet most are strangers. We carry their DNA, but it is impossible for us to know most of them.
The past is important to me. Our stories begin in the past, and they precede us. We are an amalgam of those who came before us, and each of them had their own stories. Stories were made for telling, but unfortunately, most people’s stories are lost to time. As I study my family history, I long to know more about my ancestors, but all that remain of most of them are the handful of artifacts they left behind.
I consider myself lucky if I find a picture or a random record of one of my ancestors, but what I rarely ever find is a story. As long as there are no stories, they are merely names carefully typed into my family tree instead of living, breathing people who experienced lives far richer than I am able to imagine. I want to know them, and I want them to be remembered. However, I am limited to what they have left behind. Despite this I will do my best to honor them through my writing.
This knowledge has also made me reflect on my own life and the importance of recording my thoughts and experiences while I am still here to do so. I am now halfway through my own story, and I think it’s time to put it into words. Even if my words do not interest a single soul, I still want to share them. Perhaps my children will draw comfort from them when I am no longer here.
Appreciating the Present
“I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value.”
-Hermann Hesse
My own narrative began fifty years ago, and it’s taken all that time to discover the joy of writing and the desire to share my story. Although I will revisit the past occasionally, I also want to chronicle life as it unfolds. And it has been through writing that I have emerged from a four-year slumber—a period marked by my father’s death and a traumatic brain injury from my car accident. Throughout those years, I was on autopilot, and it has been a rough ride.
In the years preceding 2019, I grappled with depression, anxiety, agoraphobia, an autoimmune disease, and the aftermath of a challenging childhood. After the car accident, PTSD and a TBI joined the mix, leading me to shut down. The TBI stripped away the enjoyment from everything I had loved, and PTSD confined me to the safety of my home. Even cherished events like Christmas and camping felt burdensome. This was my struggle; I felt empty, restless, and stuck in a recliner that I simultaneously wanted to waste away in and escape from.
2023 marked a turning point, however. A successful lawsuit against my car insurance company reinstated my medical benefits. This enabled me to consult a psychiatrist specializing in TBI and PTSD who prescribed Ritalin. While the Ritalin didn’t aid in task initiation as I had hoped, it quelled my anxiety. Additionally, the restlessness waned some, making tasks more manageable. Then, during our July camping trip, I felt a sudden wave of contentment, reminiscent of the joy I once felt camping.
Also post-TBI, mourning the loss of enjoying hobbies was a struggle. Yet, last spring, I ventured back into gardening, and this past fall I rekindled my interest in genealogical research. I have also resumed cooking and baking in the new year, marking significant progress.
Blogging has helped me realize it’s time to embrace life again. Grieving led to healing, as well as the knowledge that there’s truly a purpose for every moment under heaven. I’m now prepared to close a chapter, return to living, and share my experiences through writing. Evolving from adversity, I’m more aware and thankful for life’s blessings. The depths of sorrow sweetened my joy, releasing me from a self-imposed prison into a bright new world. It feels like a long-awaited moment, and I’m hopeful it’s more than just a passing phase.
I have also accepted my limitations, and I will no longer let them dictate my life. In this acceptance, I have found freedom, and it simply feels good.
Embracing the Future
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
-Eleanor Roosevelt
Embracing the future is a natural continuation of honoring the past and appreciating the present. My genetic makeup has been shaped by my ancestors, and I have been shaped by my past. Now, as I am actively shaping my present, I am creating a framework for my future. By living well today, I am equipping myself with the tools needed to navigate what lies ahead.
As I document the evolving chapters of my story, each page becomes a stepping stone into the unknown. While I know the path forward will be sometimes filled with hardships and grief, I have learned that I am strong enough to navigate those challenges. And I will do so with the same hope and resiliency that have buoyed me through past storms.
Finally, through writing, I don’t believe I’m merely documenting my evolution; I am actively shaping it. As I close the painful chapters of my life, I am facing forward. In front of me lies the future which is unfolding as a canvas of potential, and in embracing it, I hope to find freedom, purpose, and possibilities waiting to be explored.
